THE CELIBACY EXPERIMENT: CONCLUSION
I sit here on the last day of the experiment, looking back at things, noticing what has changed during this time
As i go through my morning practice, i can feel this very text pulsing inside me, until i can not hold it back anymore, and i sit down to write. (it's so much like an orgasm, really)
I feel genuinely happy, i feel like the goddess/spirit/the universe has my back, feel a gentle glow around everything i do.
My creativity has been 𝐝𝐲𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐞. The inspiration, and 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐲 of my work has 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝.
There are some other physical details like moving to a 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 new house at the beach, making money or new connections, but in all honesty, its irrelevant compared to the bigger picture.
As i write this with some gentle piano music in the background, my eyes well with tears of gratitude.
I realize the spiritualization of this raw creative energy we all have, is one of the most noble principles that a human can aspire to.
It's the meeting of the 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐭 and the 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡
It just permeates your whole awareness, your whole outlook towards the world
it brings 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭
it outlines your 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞, your place in the world
it unleashes your 𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑
It makes things flow with ease, you are just at the right place at the right time, with the right people around you.
And you dont even need to think about it. No need for strategy.
It's like you are carried on the wings of angels, you can just 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐓 and watch the symphony unfurl.
If someone acts negative or cynical, you don't even engage with it, it doesn't resonate because it has no root inside of you. You only feel 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, for they are in pain.
There is nothing to reach for outside yourself, even if death would knock at your door right now, you would greet it with a smile
This is 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍
In contrast, when you are grasping, scheming, manipulating and trying to get 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄
Trying to assert yourself, to convince anyone of your value, desperately trying to make things happen
Fearful of what will happen to you, trying so hard to have things your way, resenting life for being how it is
That, my friends, is 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋.
(and oh, i've been there...)
The squandering of this energy 𝐝𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
The cultivation of it 𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐒 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
With 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 i bow to the ancient masters who preserved this knowledge for generations.
(as i write this, i weep profusely, step besides the keyboard and kneel in gratitude, the state is almost overwhelming)
This road leads to spiritual ecstasy.
I want to sing all the names of the goddess and celebrate her magnificence.
It's one of those moments of spiritual drunkenness i have enjoyed so many times (i hope some of it rubs on you by reading this).
I know from the bottom of my soul, it is my duty to preserve & transmit this knowledge, continuing this honorable tradition.
I feel initiated, anointed and blessed.
Inspired, empowered & divinely kissed.
May all beings be free -L