I sit here on the last day of the experiment, looking back at things, noticing what has changed during this time
As i go through my morning practice, i can feel this very text pulsing inside me, until i can not hold it back anymore, and i sit down to write. (it's so much like an orgasm, really)
I feel genuinely happy, i feel like the goddess/spirit/the universe has my back, feel a gentle glow around everything i do.
My creativity has been ๐๐ฒ๐ง๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐. The inspiration, and ๐ฉ๐จ๐ญ๐๐ง๐๐ฒ of my work has ๐๐ซ๐๐ฆ๐๐ญ๐ข๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ข๐ง๐๐ซ๐๐๐ฌ๐๐.
There are some other physical details like moving to a ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ new house at the beach, making money or new connections, but in all honesty, its irrelevant compared to the bigger picture.
As i write this with some gentle piano music in the background, my eyes well with tears of gratitude.
I realize the spiritualization of this raw creative energy we all have, is one of the most noble principles that a human can aspire to.
It's the meeting of the ๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ข๐ซ๐ข๐ญ and the ๐๐๐ซ๐ญ๐ก
It just permeates your whole awareness, your whole outlook towards the world
it brings ๐ฉ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐๐ฅ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐ฌ๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ ๐ง๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ
it outlines your ๐ฉ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐, your place in the world
it unleashes your ๐๐๐๐๐
It makes things flow with ease, you are just at the right place at the right time, with the right people around you.
And you dont even need to think about it. No need for strategy.
It's like you are carried on the wings of angels, you can just ๐๐๐๐๐ and watch the symphony unfurl.
If someone acts negative or cynical, you don't even engage with it, it doesn't resonate because it has no root inside of you. You only feel ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง, for they are in pain.
There is nothing to reach for outside yourself, even if death would knock at your door right now, you would greet it with a smile
This is ๐๐๐๐๐๐
In contrast, when you are grasping, scheming, manipulating and trying to get ๐๐๐๐
Trying to assert yourself, to convince anyone of your value, desperately trying to make things happen
Fearful of what will happen to you, trying so hard to have things your way, resenting life for being how it is
That, my friends, is ๐๐๐๐.
(and oh, i've been there...)
The squandering of this energy ๐๐ข๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐ข๐ฌ๐ก๐๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ, ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ฌ๐ก๐๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ, ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ, ๐๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐๐๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ.
The cultivation of it ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ.
With ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐ ๐ฏ๐๐ง๐๐ซ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง i bow to the ancient masters who preserved this knowledge for generations.
(as i write this, i weep profusely, step besides the keyboard and kneel in gratitude, the state is almost overwhelming)
This road leads to spiritual ecstasy.
I want to sing all the names of the goddess and celebrate her magnificence.
It's one of those moments of spiritual drunkenness i have enjoyed so many times (i hope some of it rubs on you by reading this).
I know from the bottom of my soul, it is my duty to preserve & transmit this knowledge, continuing this honorable tradition.