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THE CELIBACY EXPERIMENT: CONCLUSION


I sit here on the last day of the experiment, looking back at things, noticing what has changed during this time


As i go through my morning practice, i can feel this very text pulsing inside me, until i can not hold it back anymore, and i sit down to write. (it's so much like an orgasm, really)


I feel genuinely happy, i feel like the goddess/spirit/the universe has my back, feel a gentle glow around everything i do.


My creativity has been ๐๐ฒ๐ง๐š๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ž. The inspiration, and ๐ฉ๐จ๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐œ๐ฒ of my work has ๐๐ซ๐š๐ฆ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐œ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ข๐ง๐œ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐ž๐.


There are some other physical details like moving to a ๐๐„๐‘๐…๐„๐‚๐“ new house at the beach, making money or new connections, but in all honesty, its irrelevant compared to the bigger picture.


As i write this with some gentle piano music in the background, my eyes well with tears of gratitude.


I realize the spiritualization of this raw creative energy we all have, is one of the most noble principles that a human can aspire to.


It's the meeting of the ๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ข๐ซ๐ข๐ญ and the ๐ž๐š๐ซ๐ญ๐ก


It just permeates your whole awareness, your whole outlook towards the world


it brings ๐ฉ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐œ๐ฅ๐š๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐ฌ๐ž๐ซ๐ž๐ง๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ ๐ง๐ฆ๐ž๐ง๐ญ


it outlines your ๐ฉ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž, your place in the world


it unleashes your ๐๐Ž๐–๐„๐‘


It makes things flow with ease, you are just at the right place at the right time, with the right people around you.


And you dont even need to think about it. No need for strategy.


It's like you are carried on the wings of angels, you can just ๐“๐‘๐”๐’๐“ and watch the symphony unfurl.


If someone acts negative or cynical, you don't even engage with it, it doesn't resonate because it has no root inside of you. You only feel ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐š๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง, for they are in pain.


There is nothing to reach for outside yourself, even if death would knock at your door right now, you would greet it with a smile


This is ๐‡๐„๐€๐•๐„๐


In contrast, when you are grasping, scheming, manipulating and trying to get ๐Œ๐Ž๐‘๐„

Trying to assert yourself, to convince anyone of your value, desperately trying to make things happen

Fearful of what will happen to you, trying so hard to have things your way, resenting life for being how it is


That, my friends, is ๐‡๐„๐‹๐‹.

(and oh, i've been there...)


The squandering of this energy ๐๐ข๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐ข๐ฌ๐ก๐ž๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ, ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ข๐ฌ๐ก๐ž๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ, ๐๐ž๐ ๐ซ๐š๐๐ž๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ, ๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐š๐œ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ.


The cultivation of it ๐„๐—๐€๐‹๐“๐’ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ, ๐„๐‹๐„๐•๐€๐“๐„๐’ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ, ๐„๐—๐๐€๐๐ƒ๐’ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ, ๐’๐€๐๐‚๐“๐ˆ๐…๐ˆ๐„๐’ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ.


With ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐ ๐ฏ๐ž๐ง๐ž๐ซ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง i bow to the ancient masters who preserved this knowledge for generations.

(as i write this, i weep profusely, step besides the keyboard and kneel in gratitude, the state is almost overwhelming)


This road leads to spiritual ecstasy.


I want to sing all the names of the goddess and celebrate her magnificence.


It's one of those moments of spiritual drunkenness i have enjoyed so many times (i hope some of it rubs on you by reading this).


I know from the bottom of my soul, it is my duty to preserve & transmit this knowledge, continuing this honorable tradition.


I feel initiated, anointed and blessed.


Inspired, empowered & divinely kissed.


May all beings be free -L

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